Quarantine Diary featuring Brandee Alexander
At one point you considered yourself as someone who was broken. What hard truths did you need to sit with during that season?
Well 2019 was one for the books wasn’t it? I definitely placed the “broken” label on myself towards the latter part of 2019. There were some relationships that ended during that season and I can tell you I was totally unprepared for what God was about to do in my life. I blamed myself a lot and was forced to look inward with a magnifying glass and pick apart pieces of me that I thought were no good.
A few Hard Truths that I had to face:
- Brandee is NOT perfect, and that is absolutely OK,
- Brandee likes things Burger King style, I want to have it my way a lot of the time, all the time honestly and that’s selfish.
- Brandee doesn’t love herself. This one was hard, I put a lot of pressure on myself to perform, or be somebody that is easy for others to accept, when in reality I was not designed to be accepted by everyone and that’s ok.
- God still loves me even when the key players you think you need walk away or hurt you. This was a hard truth for me because I didn’t want certain people to walk away from me. I didn’t think God loved me anymore, people were walking out of my life. I thought there MUST be something wrong with me, and God must have left with them.
How did brokenness reveal itself in your life and how did it affect your identity?
Brokenness revealed itself in suicidal thoughts/ideations, shame, and condemnation. I wasn’t working, and honestly nothing was happening for me. Everyday I sat around crying endlessly, there was a point in this journey where I contemplated ending my life. I hid myself, I was ashamed, when I did try to go out and see familiar faces I felt as though people were asking me how I was doing out of pity. It was at this point where I realized I cared way too much what people thought of me and not enough of what God thought.
I let relationships with people define who I was too much and when those ties were severed I was forced to learn more about who I am. More importantly WHOSE I am.
What surprised you and/or other people the most about how you handled yourself during a season of difficulty and uncertainty?
So I get to talk about how God blew my mind!! What surprised others watching me was how quiet I became during my season of struggle and humbling. What surprised me was how swiftly God answered my prayers. I asked God to relocate me from my prison which was unfortunately my favorite place to be, home.
He did that and so much more. I went from not having a job, to being offered multiple positions to choose from and selecting the BEST option for me. The company moved me to my new state, and all my needs were met. They even called me on my BIRTHDAY to offer me the job of my dreams! I was done for; I did the ugly cry that no one should ever see.
God also surprised me by sending women who needed to heal so I started a private women’s healing group. My inbox was flooded with women who had experienced some of the same things I had and just never talked about it. It’s important for us as women to connect with one another especially with our seasoned women to gain that wisdom. I’m forever grateful for these women and their honesty.
How do you define “glow up” and what steps can we take to get there?
During this season when I finally decided to stop the tears, wash this face (thanks Rachel Hollis), and take charge of my life I was told that I had this glow. Women are often told we’re glowing when we are pregnant or in love. I seldom remember hearing it after going through a storm but God is good!! The storm inspired me to coin the phrase “Let Glow and Let God” which came from Daniel 12:3 MSG
“Men and Women who have lived wisely and well will shine brilliantly, like the cloudless, star-strewn night skies. And those who put others on the right path to life will glow like stars forever.”
Glow up can be defined as living wisely through the storms of life, shining brilliantly like the night sky and becoming a beacon of light on the journey to healing.
Simple Steps you can take to get your Glow On:
- Be Ok with NOT being ok
- Be Honest with yourself
- Be mindful of what you feed your spirit
- Feel It by being a STAR (Stop/Smile, Take a deep breath And Relax)
Please take note to how I didn’t define these simple steps. Why? Because this is your unique journey and only YOU can define your glow.
God Bless and Remember to Let Glow and Let God!
Born and raised in Omaha, Nebraska Brandee Leigh Alexander has a passion for helping women see themselves as whole, fearfully and wonderfully made, and of course glowing. Brandee is currently an Associate Executive Director for the YMCA of Greater Kansas City and hopes to one day open up a YMCA as the Executive Director. Brandee has a private healing group for women on Facebook and is currently in the process of finishing her first book to continue encouraging women all over the world to embrace their glow!
Facebook: Brandee Leigh Alexander