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Candy Zollicoffer

Founder of Brave Avenue- inspiring women to bravery everywhere! celebrating moments, enjoying the humorous and challenging times of being a Wife and Mother.

Three ways to crush your fear

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Last weekend I went on my first getaway with my husband. We traveled a few hours away for a three day trip filled with horseback riding, hiking, tubing, and a hot air balloon ride! I was anticipating our trip as soon as the hotel was booked, but as it grew closer to our departure, I started feeling anxious; unhealthy thoughts filled my mind: “you can’t leave the kids, you’re still nursing your daughter this will not work, will my son be okay with us disrupting his new schedule, and the worst one of all–what will happen to the kids if we die??”  I secretly hoped that God would give me an excuse to stay home: Dear Lord, can you bless me with a 48 hour flu so I can control my own life and stay at home. You’re awesome-Amen!

Has anyone else experienced this?  Fear is sneaky. It robs you from experiencing adventure, building relationships, and living your dreams boldly and passionately. You have the power to crush fear and here are three ways to do it.

1. Recognize that your fear button is being pressed.

A friend of mine left me a beautiful note and prayer featuring those words. You can’t remove what you don’t acknowledge. It takes vulnerability to acknowledge you are fearful. As a Mother, I never want to appear weak or afraid; especially in front of my kids. I tried to crush fear by ignoring it not realizing that it only increased fear and anxiety. What do you need to acknowledge today?

2. Turn back to the truth. 

2 Timothy 1:7 reminds us that God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, and of love and a sound mind. Living in fear opens up the door for reckless thoughts. As I said before, fear is sneaky so you can unknowingly leave the door open for those thoughts to enter. What negative thoughts are you replaying? Acknowledge the fear and turn your thoughts and your heart to the truth of who God says you are.

3. Commit your treasure to Him.

“Parenting is as much about our sanctification as theirs; it teaches us to trust God and listen humbly, to commit our greatest treasures to His safekeeping. We can confidently give Him our fear, our hopes, and our kids.” – Jen Hatmaker (Author of For the Love and mom of 5 kids) My kids are my greatest treasure. I will do anything and everything I can to help them live a life with purpose. I learned from a Mother early on to release my children’s lives into the hands of God. Catastrophe can happen at any time and I cannot control it. Committing your treasure to Him releases the pressure off of you and allows you to trust in His outcome.  What treasure do you need to commit to Him? Your children, husband, a family member….You have been empowered by God to live with abundant faith therefore you can release fear into the capable hands of your Father.

Bravery is required

Last June will forever be known as a turning point for me. The ministry I worked for had ended, my husband was transitioning to entrepreneurship and our babygirl Nyomi was born. I was so excited to give birth to my first child, but also had a great deal of anxiety. “Will she end up like me?” Anxious, fearful of making decisions, too worried about others opinions, people pleaser, easily swayed and manipulated. Most people say they don’t have regrets, but I do. Honestly, my biggest regret is choosing to make decisions that I did not agree with in order to please others. I had become comfortable in that lifestyle and understood too well the effects it had on me. I couldn’t let daughter live like that.


I remember the phone call. There I was sitting on the couch, stunned, angry and hurt. I needed to make a decision.  Nyomi was quietly nursing and looking directly into my eyes. She seemed so sure of herself, she didn’t know any other way to be. I wanted that–the confidence to just be. While looking into her deep eyes my heart violently turned in my chest, I could not contain myself. I knew in that moment that I had to live my life with no regrets and as her Mother, I had to show her how to live. I had to show her how to be brave!

It was not easy saying no and yet, I’m so glad I did. I believe that’s the beauty of bravery. It is not easy, but you do it anyway. Your choice to take the next step immediately knocks fear on its back and your confidence begins to push through. The more you choose to do this, the more confident you become and you start to blaze a trail that others can walk through and even admire.


Nyomi is one now and I am thankful that she is able to benefit from my brave choices. I can see bravery being shaped in her by her choice to confidently say yes or no to people and things, even to me. I naturally want to shelter her from everything, but I make sure to find the balance in being protective and just letting her learn and explore.  I won’t always get it right, and that’s not the goal.  The goal is to keep saying yes to living a life of purpose on purpose.  Bravery is required.

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